New pictures at last!

Fake Mommy wants to apologize for not posting pictures in so long. Her camera broke a while ago, and she hasn't been able to afford a new one. But a friend came over the other day and took some nice pictures.

 

Louis looking pensive

Gretchen wants a treat!

Torture

Louis here ... I just wanna say that I hate Fake Mommy.

She's very nice and all, but she has this thing about givin' me baths. I dunno why she does it. I make it very clear that I DO NOT LIKE BATHS, but she just don't care.

Today was double-bad because I had a bath and then she CUT MY NAILS. And then she brushed me and trimmed the fur on my underneath side. I'm not gonna talk to her for awhile, I mean it.

But it was much worse for Amy. She went outside in the rain and got herself stuck again. When Fake Mommy went outside lookin' for her, she was soppin' wet and miserable. Well, Fake Mommy made her more miserable right away.

Amy got a bath, and then Fake Mommy combed and brushed her. But the worst was when Fake Mommy blew her dry with a noisy thing on a cord. It was awful. It took a long time, too.

But Amy's torture wasn't over.

After that, Fake Mommy trimmed all the hair around Amy's eyes and face, and then cleaned all the goo from around her eyes. Amy looks nice and smells good now, but she's still real mad

All Gretchen got done was a nail trim, lucky bitch.

At least we got treats after our torture -- Fake Mommy gave us fresh chicken! It was good, but I'm still mad...

Amy's new bed

I came home from Target today to find that Amy had made herself a new bed -- in the food bin! One of naughty dachshunds had knocked it over and helped himself (there wasn't much food left), and Amy had crawled into the bin afterward to take a nap. Although we find her stuck in nooks all over the house and yard, this was the most interesting place so far!

Gretchen the huntress strikes again

Last night, around 2 am, we heard an ungodly racket from the backyard. Rushing out to see what was being killed, we found that Gretchen had cornered an opossum behind one of the plants and was screaming her head off at him. A giant, angry, hissing thing, the 'possum was not pleased. We pried Gretchen away and locked her in her crate, from whence she proceeded to scream for the next half hour. The 'possum, who had a suspiciously fresh bite on his tail, fell over, dead. Well, that's what Fake Daddy thought! After I reminded him about the saying "playing 'possom," he remembered that they play dead when threatened. We took the rest of the dogs back inside and let the poor guy recover from his trauma.

I bet that's the last time he'll visit Wiener Wonderland...

Gretchen is useful in the garden

Not too long ago, Gretchen helped Hank defeat a horrible monster...

Hank caught the evildoer, an enormous moth that produces the tomato worms that eat my tomato plants.

Revolting things, tomato worms can grow to the size of a man's finger -- and they hiss when you remove them from the vine. 


Do you see it?

After Hank caught the moth, Gretchen became very interested.

Yes, the moth was almost the size of her muzzle.

After they were done playing with it, Hank ate it.












And then Gretchen took a nap!

Mourning for Mommy -- NOT!

Louis gave me permission to write on his blog, but he doesn't know what I'm going to say...

If I ever needed proof of the dachshunds' fickle nature, I've seen it over the last couple of weeks. After Fake Mommy's visit and subsequent return to Kabul, I was really worried Louis would experience depression. Hah. Not only was he happy to be back, but he seems utterly unaffected by the trauma of Mommy leaving him again.

Gretchen, of course, doesn't care where she is or whom she's living with, as long as she has access to the squirrel-ridden, water-monster-lurking back yard and can bark at the old kitty at night.

And Amy ... well, Amy is the same, as always.

We all hope Mommy arrived safely in Afghanistan!

I am so ashamed of myself

Hi Mommy! Fake Mommy says I haven't written in a whole month, which has made you sad, dear Mommy. Well it's not my fault, of course (nothing is the King of France's fault), but I'll pologize anyway. Fake Mommy said she also wanted to wait until she got some better pictures.

I like this one because it is Artistic.

We have all been very busy in the yard. Fake Mommy is doing all sorts of weird stuff, like pouring this fishy-smelling stuff on the new plants, spraying the plant leaves with some gross fertilizer and pest controller she calls "worm pee" and digging in the dirt a whole lot.

I don't know why she's doing all these strange things, but the other dogs tell me there will be interesting things to eat in a couple of months.

Meanwhile, we're getting little carrots and big chard leaves. I don't care much about the leaves, but I like the thick, juicy stalks attached to the leaves. It's fun to carry one around before I chew on it. I like to make the other dogs jealous. Fake Mommy laughs and tells me there are enough yummy chard stalks for everyone to have a piece, but I don't care because mine is the best.

Gretchen is having a good ole time here. Fake Mommy has to put her in The Box when she waters because Gretchen is overly concerned with The Water Monster. She is also very determined to get into the herb garden because once there was a squirrel in there. She's very silly.

She's also kind of a hussy. Now that she knows everyone here, she hops into bed with any of the boy dogs. Here she is sitting with Brother.

Amy is doing fine. She's on a regular schedule now: wake up, go for a walk in the backyard, eat breakfast, take a long drink of water and fall asleep next to the water bowl. At about 6 pm, she repeats the whole thing.

Amy likes the backyard so much that she stays out there for hours. Now that the weather is warm, Fake Mommy has to bring her inside so she doesn't get too hot.

We mostly leave Amy alone now. We aren't rude to her at all. The other dogs will sniff her once in awhile, but mostly they just leave her in peace.

Okay Fake Mommy needs to go back to work. She promises not to let another month go by!